r/wallstreetbets
spacex is going to bend every retail investor over a rocket and elon is going to personally charge us for the lube
Hyperbolic rant expressing despair over market losses, criticizing SpaceX IPO hype, noting Korean market crash, and admitting to poor NVDA trading decisions.
- Retail investors are being exploited by hyped IPOs and wealth extraction mechanisms.
- Global semiconductor sentiment is deteriorating, evidenced by South Korea's market crash and circuit breakers.
- High interest rates (5% yields) and Fed hiking cycles are severely damaging portfolio valuations.
these absolute cum-guzzling shitweasel wall street parasites have engineered the most diabolical wealth extraction device in human history and dressed it up as an IPO. every fucking dollar you've ever saved, every ramen-fueled sleepless night, every time you didn't buy the good toilet paper to save three dollars all of it is getting vacuum-sealed into elon's nutsack and launched into geosynchronous orbit while we stand on earth naked and weeping like abandoned golden retrievers in a thunderstorm.
south korea got so thoroughly ass-devastated today that their entire stock exchange had a panic attack and needed a 20-minute time out. down 8%. circuit breaker. samsung executives are currently in a boardroom crying and fingering their worry beads while SK hynix shareholders projectile vomit into their own portfolios. they watched america's chip stock genocide on friday and said "actually we want to die faster."
and here i am. in the casino. again. i have been in this fucking casino for six hours. i am crying in the casino bathroom between trades, redoing my eyeliner, telling myself this next call option is different. it is not different. it is never different. the dealer knows my name. the cocktail waitress knows my preferred expiry date. i tipped her in worthless NVDA calls and she accepted them out of pity.
the fed is hiking. yields are at 5%. my portfolio is a crime scene. i bought the dip on friday like a lobotomized golden retriever and i would do it again because i have learned absolutely nothing and i am genuinely unwell.
i am not a trader. i am a gas station sushi decision that gained sentience and opened a brokerage account.
fuck da bulls mane. fuck every single one of them. i hope they step on condoms barefoot in the dark on the way to cash out their fucking gains.